[Guest blog by Glenda Standeven]
“I’m sorry. I can’t guarantee you Christmas next year.” Those words were spoken by my surgeon on December 22, 1987. As you can see by the date, I’ve had significantly MORE than one extra Christmas since my surgery to remove an aggressive chondrosarcoma tumour in my right hip and pelvis. Removing it meant I’d lose my entire right leg, including my hip and pelvis, and become a hemi-pelvectomy amputee—one of the rarest amputations and one of the most challenging to survive. On January 6th, 1988, I became a right hemi-pelvectomy amputee.
Cancer has taught me many things. I’ve learned to be patient. Getting around on crutches and one leg in a world designed for two-legged people takes getting used to. Tasks that I took for granted on two legs suddenly became opportunities to problem solve.
I’ve learned that laughter is one of the key ingredients to surviving any adversity. Finding the funny in life has become second nature for me. It could be because I married a man whose last name was STANDEVEN and for an amputee ‘standing even’ is a challenge and a perfect stage name. The only way it could be better would be if my first name was ‘Eileen’ because I definitely DO lean when I try to stand even!
Losing my leg opened doors to careers I’m embracing and loving! I had to find a job I could do that didn’t require being on my foot for eight hours a day. I became a reflexologist and for decades I have enjoyed helping people on their own road to wellness.
Three weeks after my surgery, two children in a hospital lobby laughed at me because they thought I looked ‘funny’ on one leg. I turned my tears into action and became an inspirational speaker. I went into schools to talk to kids about being different. It is never okay to laugh at someone for being different. Becoming an ‘anti-bullying’ advocate led me to become an inspirational speaker who shares stories of laughter and tears with audiences of all ages. I lost my leg but I found my voice thanks to cancer.
I also became an author and share my story in a book available on Amazon called, I Am Choosing to Smile – The Inspirational Life Story of a Bone Cancer Survivor. When my husband got prostate cancer, I wrote about his journey in the book, What Men Won’t Talk About…And Women Need to Know – A Woman’s Perspective on Prostate Cancer. We hoped that by sharing our journey it would help others face their own adversities with courage too.
Some able-bodied people will tell you that you shouldn’t do something because they think it will be too difficult for you. My doctor told me I shouldn’t try to ski because I could fall. I did it anyway and yes, I fell. But I also won two silver medals in the BC Winter Games in Slalom and Giant Slalom. Impressive? Not really. The fact that there were only two of us in the competition greatly increased the odds of me winning!
People told me I shouldn’t have a second child (I had a three-year-old when I lost my leg) but my prosthetist told me he knew of 16 other hemi-pelvectomy amputees in the world who had a child so I knew if they could do it, so could I! My second son was born less than three years after my amputation! Don’t listen to naysayers—follow your dreams. You may fall, but you may also get up and win!
One of the most difficult and profound lessons I learned from my cancer journey is to ask for help when I need it. People cannot be gracious givers if there are not gracious receivers. As a two-legged person, I was always the one doing the helping. Overnight I became the person needing help. It was hard. SO hard. But in time I learned that it takes strength to ask for help and it makes other people feel good to be able to provide that help. When someone holds a door for me or offers to help me carry packages I accept graciously with a smile.
Cancer has taught me many things: patience; laughter is better than tears; there is graciousness in both receiving and giving help; determination reaps rewards; and there is both strength and hope found in sharing our stories with others. Cancer can be an opportunity for growth if we allow it to be.
Glenda Standeven is an author, workshop facilitator, and humorous inspirational speaker. She lost her entire right leg, hip, and pelvis to bone cancer in 1988 and was diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma breast cancer in 2022. Glenda is the author of I Am Choosing to Smile, her inspirational life story about learning many of life’s lessons the hard way, and What Men Won’t Talk About and Women Need to Know, which chronicles her husband’s journey with prostate cancer using honesty and humor. Glenda has published four short stories that were included in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, including her most recent, “Becoming A Gracious Receiver” which was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul – 101 Ways to Think Positive. Find Glenda on GlendaStandeven.com.
Glenda is part of the Official NCSD Speakers Bureau Roster.
